Nº. 1 of  5

The Ice Cream Truck Chronicles

Word vomit and other musings about a girl working on an ice cream truck.


Well, it’s about a year or two later. Funny story, I’m still being haunted by this miserable job.

Shortly after the last post I ended up quitting because I began to realize just how sketchy and not-so-legal half of the things I was doing were. I could go on but I digress.

Tomorrow is my birthday, which means today was the last day before my license expired. So I woke up early this morning, drove to the DMV, and tried to renew my license. 

I walked into the DMV with full confidence that today was going to be the day I get a new license. My hair was extra shiny and looking awesome. I was super excited to get a new picture, because I look like I weight about 200 lbs in my current one. 


Not only did I not get a new license, turns out my current one has been suspended. 


Honestly, I don’t even know what happened but, I have been told I was court ordered to take a Basic Driver Improvement course. Since I didn’t, my license was suspended. 

Long story short:

1.Don’t drive and ice cream truck.

2.If you choose to do so, make sure you keep track of your own tickets and whatnot and don’t let your slimy bosses “take care of it.”

3. Don’t wait until the last minute to renew your license, because then you might have to call out of work and deal with a bunch of annoying online classes that take forever but give you time to update the tumblr you started forever ago and never ended…

Hopefully this will be the last of the repercussions. 


Alpha is what us “hustlers” call the cops. I never knew what where this term came from…until RIGHT NOW! Apparently, Alpha is African for police.

Bahaha, this was carved in one of the “pews” in the court room.

Bahaha, this was carved in one of the “pews” in the court room.

I’m guilty.


Ok, so I can see why I was found guilty of making an illegal left hand turn. I mean, I did it. (The fact that I had no idea what I was doing, and that I never drove in the city didn’t matter.) I can understand that verdict.

BUT! But, the failure to produce proof of insurance?!?!? I handed the judge a copy of the insurance card! Still guilty. (Excuse my language) WHAT AN asshole!!

I don’t even want to get into the politics behind all this right now. More on that later.


I am currently sitting on a bench which bares a striking resemblance to a church pew. Coincidence? I think not. These people want you to think about the bad things you’ve done; Illegal turns, running red lights, speeding. You should pray to the traffic gods for forgiveness.

My court time is at 4:30. It is my understanding that at this time I will be shuffled into a room with several other traffic sinners and we will be put on trial. Wish me luck, I think I’m going to cry. I didn’t even (knowingly) do anything wrong!

Sidenote: I wore a nice outfit today. Heels included. After several compliments and a few questions addressing the reason for my “fancy” dressage, I have concluded that I made the wrong wardrobe choice. My chiropractor (yes, I’m 24 and I have a chiropractor) informed me that I should have worn crappy clothes so the judge took pity on me because it would appear as though I have no money and, therefore could not pay the fine…

Oh well. Here I go.


(by kaitlinyap)

If only Mr.Softee had such delicious/crazy flavors!


(by kaitlinyap)

If only Mr.Softee had such delicious/crazy flavors!

Nº. 1 of  5